This Is Not Mine: Lessons from My Guru on Attention and Inner Light

a story of ritual fire, yogic discipline, and the quiet power of presence.

Photo by Shakib Uzzaman on Unsplash

As a young girl, I used to sit with everyone in the meditation hall, while Guru ji led the chanting. Afterwards, he’d guide us all into silent meditation.

Under his guidance, I felt brave to pursue inward, and let the world of the senses fall back a bit, so I could peer beyond the curtain of the identification with my body and mind, to see inside with yogic eyes.

Guru ji’s programs always began with a small ritual fire ceremony.

We’d chant the mantras, as the fire keeper gently poured ghee onto the elements in the small copper pyramid pot: Dried cow dung, rice etc. all symbolic.

I can still smell the havan samaghri, the sweet herbs, that get placed inside.

It was a new world I’d entered, full of all kinds of things, like wisdom, guidance, and fire practice.

We’d chant the mantras:

“agnaye svāhā”

[On each utterance of “svāhā” a new oblation is entered into the fire.]

To the fire. We extend respect.

“agnaye idaṁ na mama”

[Each mantra drew us deeper inside.]

To the fire. This is not mine.

When you look at the Sanskrit lines of the verse from a purely grammatical view, they make no real sense. You have to dig into The Tradition to uncover their import.

In the years when I was training, one of Guru ji’s students always started the ritual fire at the main house before he arrived at program.

Once Guru ji got there and was settled into his seat, that fire keeper student, would transfer the tray with the lit fire pot, ghee, and herbs, carefully onto the small table in front of him, so he could tend the fire himself, adding oblations and guiding the offerings.

We students would spend about 15 minutes watching the flames rise.



As we did, our Guru reminded us that the flame represents our attention.

One day, Guru ji said he wanted to show me how to work with the fire ceremony.

Jack, my Guru-Bhrātā, my brother in lineage, was visiting, and asked if he could watch.

Guru ji replied happily, “Why not?!”